i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
