i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You pole danced in your parka.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
