i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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