Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
