I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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