think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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