I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
its liver damage thursday
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
