maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
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