Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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