yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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