Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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