Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
lets start a swedish sibling band together
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
