Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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