We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Less talking, more tequila
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
