u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
