i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
