3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I faked an abortion last night.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
