he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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