Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
