I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
