She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
This is the high leading the old right now
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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