We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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