apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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