She went from zero to smokin in five shots
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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