So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
