My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
