Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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