I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
