Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
