Kareoke will never be a sober sport
she woke up with a sticky ear
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
