She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
