God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
