Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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