If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
