whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
