Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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