the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Buhtt sex?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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