yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
