I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Randomize
