in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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