lets start a swedish sibling band together
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
