I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
