just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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