Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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