Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
