You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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