I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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