Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
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