what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
did i just pee glitter
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