I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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