I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
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