.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
