I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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