So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
