alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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